From the kitchen the last time The Boy was home:
The Boy: Mom! You need to call the police…
daisyfae: What happened?
The Boy: Someone stole all our fucking food*.
__________
* Shopping for one is depressing. Buying an apple, a banana, a box of Orville’s “Smart Pop”, some low fat yogurt, a few frozen entrees and a 12 pack of Diet Coke just screams “i’m preparing to die alone”. He’s got a car, a job and my credit card. He won’t starve.
April 4, 2008 at 1:23 am |
Family bonding. Brings a tear to the eye, it does. If you ever needed proof that there wasn’t some kind of a mix-up at the hospital, this is it.
April 4, 2008 at 7:42 am |
I’ve been cooking for, like, 160, for so long that I wonder if I’ll ever survive when I have to cook for one. Do they teach a class out there somewhere for that? Single Dining for the Uninitiated?
April 4, 2008 at 9:15 am |
Now that I cook for one, I rarely bother. Cooking, preparing a repast, is a spectator sport.
April 4, 2008 at 9:42 am |
Cooking for one so often involves me eating things I wouldn’t expect anyone else to eat–ever! But it also means that I can put together a meal in two seconds–a little yogurt and grape nuts, and we’re good! Or I can eat cookie-dough for dinner if that’s what strikes me. Advantages and disadvantages, right?
April 4, 2008 at 2:12 pm |
For my money, the microwave is the greatest invention since the vacu-jack.
April 4, 2008 at 2:49 pm |
Mmmmmmmmmm… Orville’s!
April 4, 2008 at 3:36 pm |
Cooking? That involves having a kitchen, no?
April 4, 2008 at 5:29 pm |
kyknoord – he’s full of it. my genetics, of course…
awalkabout – last summer, i had The Boy and one of his friends living here. >$200/week – the other kid ate his weight in Pizza Rolls! it’s been a shock to spend about $100/month. You’ll need decompression therapy, or need to go to work in a soup kitchen!
archie – i’ll do it sometimes… mostly? i make jello shots, and the occasional meal when the prodigals return home.
Empress – True. One advantage is that i can eat out of the box, drink from the milk jug and have tuna on my cornflakes if i wanted to… or cookie dough and jello shots!
uncle keith – the vacu-jack can also be used to vacuum pack leftovers! it’s brilliant!
az – don’t worry! the Orville Re-Supply Popcorn Mule shall bring you another load in late June!
imeantno – ahh… still awaiting the renovations? is your stove still in the garage and the refrigerator on the porch?
April 4, 2008 at 8:14 pm |
i cant find your email… and i wanted you to know i posted a little trailer park humor today myself……for rent
hope it meets with the parks approval….
April 5, 2008 at 2:02 am |
I would consider keeping a jar of hemlock cookies to offer up in such circumstances… or at minimum seconal.
April 6, 2008 at 1:16 pm |
paisley – LOVED the post! you know The Park… i’ve been that young lady…
BB – clever. very, very clever… like the way you think!
April 8, 2008 at 7:34 pm |
the picture reminds me of something taken on the day JFK was assassinated.
Oddly enough, I like the pic.
~m
April 8, 2008 at 9:57 pm |
~m – hadn’t seen the JFK-era, but yeah, it’s there. you must be my age! a simpler time when you could trust the “5-0″ to solve crime and make us all safe!
July 5, 2008 at 9:07 pm |
[...] They had come home to a very sparsely populated pantry. Even worse than usual. The Girl was in charge of dinner, The Boy responsible for dessert. Hence, vegetarian tacos and [...]
July 12, 2009 at 9:13 pm |
[...] amount of time i spend in my kitchen. My offspring are used to this, having encountered the empty pantry on more than one [...]